


Down So Low

by The_Battle_Lesbian



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 1x13, Depictions of Child Abuse, Gen, So be warned, depictions of domestic violence, willa's story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Battle_Lesbian/pseuds/The_Battle_Lesbian
Summary: So this is a quick little fic I wrote about Willa’s journey to her final moments against Wynonna as she goes below where Peacemaker sent her. Because everyone, even Willa, started as a good child and had to be made into what she became. This is a take on how that could happen. It takes place during the final scene between Wynonna and Willa in 1x13. Title and lyrics from “Down So Low” by Royal Deluxe. Warning this does contain depictions of child abuse and domestic violence. First work of fiction I have written for several years so definitely feel free to comment or kudos!





	Down So Low

**_Down, down so low_ **

_**How deep into the ground can one man dig a hole?** _   
_**Down, down so low** _   
_**Leaving you crying out, have mercy on my soul** _

_**~~~~~~~~~~~** _

_It was her earliest memory. She must have been three, certainly no older than four. Mama had given her a stuffed bear- he was a raggedy old thing, with black buttons for eyes and flimsy arms the perfect size for her little hands to hug. She had screamed with joy when Mama gave him to her- this was her bear. Willa’s bear. She can’t remember if Mama had made him by hand; she may have, seeing as how all of Willa’s dresses were hand-me-downs or hand sewn for her. But Willa loved all of them because they were_ hers _. Even her little boots with the big hole by her big toe made her happy because they were all_ hers _. Growing up she knew her family never had much, but as a baby none of that had mattered. Nothing had mattered that day except her bear. As soon as she grabbed him from Mama’s hand she ran to the living room to show Baby Nonna, who was sitting up on a quilt with a rattle in her chubby hand._

_“Nonna, Nonna looookkk!” she squealed, shoving the bear in the baby’s face, almost knocking her backwards. “He’s my bear Mama gave him to me he is brown and small like you! He’s my bear but-but I can share him cause you don’t have a bear cause you’re too small.” Willa knelt down next to her sister, who cooed and reached out to squeeze the bear’s snout with her free hand. “Yeah Nonna he’s soft- but don’t eat him though please that’s nasty!” She hurriedly pulled the bear away as her sister tried to take a test bite of his snout. The sudden movement through the baby off balance and she toppled forward. After a moment of silence, digesting what had just happened, she began to cry out. Willa looked up to see Mama rush over to pick up the baby and gently rock her to calm her down. “I didn’t do nothing Mama she tried to eat him and she fell I didn’t do nothing!” Willa yelled, her voice cracking on the final ‘nothing’. Mama smiled down at her.  
_

_“I know you didn’t mean to, sweetheart. But remember, Nonna is little and we have to be careful with her. Babies are helpless when they’re little. So you have to be a big, responsible girl for me.”  
_

_Willa nodded fervently with her eyes wide. She was a big girl. So she had to be responsible and good and careful._

_It was at that moment the front door slammed open, signaling Daddy was home from work. Nonna began to wail again, and with that ended Willa’s happiest memory._

 

 

And she still was. Protecting her Nonna, that is. She’d learned so much in her 29 years but most of all she had learned:

“That death can be a mercy.”

The look on Wynonna’s face told her that she did not understand.

 

 

_It was her 6th birthday. There was no party- the Earps didn’t do parties but that was okay. Willa really didn’t have any friends in Kindergarten anyways. They thought she was weird and smelled funny and had a boy name. Nonna, four years old and sprightly as ever, was her only friend. Mama had made her her favorite cake- chocolate with funfetti icing, cause she could never decide if she wanted vanilla or chocolate cake so Mama just mixed the two. She blew out the six candles and closed her eyes tight to make a wish._ _‘I wish I could get a horse’ she thought to herself, really almost prayed. Daddy was standing in the door frame to the kitchen, staring at his boot. He’d been moody lately, not that he wasn’t usually. But Willa saw the bottles. And those bottles made him mean. Mama patted Nonna on the head as she wiggled in her seat, eager to dig into cake. She looked over at Daddy._

_“Is there anything you’d like to say to your daughter for her special day?”  
_

_Daddy scoffed and looked over at Willa, his face hard to read. Maybe it was annoyance, or anger. Or pity._

_“Her special day is 21 years away, Wendy. She’s just marking time now.”  
_

_He walked over to the table and sat down across from Willa and her cake. He reached into his boot and pulled out a pistol. It was old, anyone could see that, but well taken care of. Willa saw herself reflected in the freshly- polished silver barrel and gulped. Daddy had told her stories about this gun, and everything it had done. Everything it meant to her family, and her legacy. Peacemaker. A name like that should bring a sense of ease but all she felt was rising terror._

_“You see this gun, Willa?”  
_

_She nodded, not taking her eyes off of it._

_“This will be yours in 21 years. And with it, every last one of those 77 revenants resurrected from Hell will be yours too. It will be your responsibility to put every last one of those sons of bitches into the ground and to do that you need training. You’re old enough now to hold a gun. Not this one-”  
_

_He flashed Peacemaker a final time and slipped it back into his boot._

_“-but this one.” He pulled out a similarly designed pistol, probably nearly as old, and pushed it across the table to her. “Your training begins immediately. There is no time to waste because you have to be ready. If you’re not, they will kill you and Nonna and every last one of us!” His voice rises on the last words. Willa fights back the tears, because he cannot see her cry. Mama looks heartbroken and is covering Nonna’s ears, cause she doesn’t need to hear this. She only wants cake. Willa looks to Mama for help, but she knows there is nothing to be done. The Earp Curse is coming for her whether she likes it or not.  
_

_That was the end of Willa’s childhood._

 

 

Peacemaker clicks. She tries again but another click. “Wh-what happened?” She feels the tears coming but she holds them back. They will never see her cry.

“You went wrong.” Nonna doesn’t fight the tears.

No. No she didn’t this is the only way to save them all. To free them. If only the stupid gun would shoot. She cocks it a third time and that’s when her side ignites in a splintering pain.

 

 

_She was eight years old. Her and Nonna play tea party with their stuffed animals. Tea party guests this evening include a Raggedy Ann, a porcelain doll that Willa was half sure was haunted but it would just have to do, and Mr. Plumpkins,_ her _bear. Willa holds an empty tea cup up to Mr. Plumpkins’ mouth and makes slurping sounds as “he” drinks. In her best British accent (still quite a poor one) she says “Jolly-ho Raggedy Ann that is some fine tea you brewed up today! Now can I have a scoonnee?” Willa elongates the word as she reaches over to pick up an empty plate and place it in front of Mr. Plumpkins. Nonna laughs and grabs Raggedy Ann, ready to respond._

_But it is at that moment Willa’s bedroom door bursts open, the old wood in the frame cracking from the force. Her blood runs cold._

_“WILLA EARP WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?”  
_

_She stands up quickly to face her father, bear still in hand. She keeps Nonna hidden squarely behind her, Nonna who is burying her face in the Raggedy Ann doll to hide her whimper._

_“We’re just playing Daddy I forgot about training I thought you said you had work today!”  
_

_“The hell you were just playing who do you think you are? Some sweet little girl?!” With this he lunges forward and grabs her by the hair, whiskey on his breath, leaning in to make sure she gets the message that follows.  
_

_“You are the goddamn Earp heir you don’t have the goddamn time to play ‘tea party’ with Wyn or anyone else! What did I say about this kind of slacking off huh? HUH?” He yanks harder on her hair and she can’t stifle her tears anymore.  
_

_“You said they all die! If I slack off they’re all dead!”  
_

_The silence that followed was more deafening than Ward’s yells. Taking a moment to see that he was satisfied with her answer, he roughly let her go and stood back to his full height. Subconsciously, Willa tightened her grip on Mr. Plumpkins, and it did not escape his notice._

_“Wendy never should have given you that damn bear. Making you think you could be just like any other kid. You’re done here.”  
_

_And with that he snatched Mr. Plumpkins from Willa’s grasp. She screamed before she could stop herself, which earned a slap across the face from Ward. She was instantly silent and looked up at him, hand gingerly touching the growing redness on her cheek._

_“I’m throwing this damn bear out in the woods, and when I get back you better have your gun loaded and ready for target practice, got it?”  
_

_His voice was quiet now, which made him even scarier. Willa pursed her lips and nodded, taking in a deep breath to steady her nerves._

_“Yes sir.”  
_

_Ward nodded. “Good”_

_Then he left._ _And with him went the idea that the Homestead was even a home._

 

 

The creature roared as it wrapped a tentacle around her bleeding waist, and Willa knew it was time Wynonna learned. Learned the truth.

“You see Wynonna?”

Her lungs were already running out of air.

“You can never really go home again.”

And when the creature pulled her backwards she screamed with all she had left.

 

 

_She was 11 years old. She was out on a walk around the Homestead’s land with Nonna, careful to always stay on the Homestead land- never leaving it so the Revenants couldn’t touch her. Daddy was quite clear about that rule. It was a rare moment, when she was free to just be, and she chose to just be with her sister. Everything was good for once-_

_“Nonna, Nonna lookit what I found in the bushies!”  
_

_-except for that thing. The tiny girl ran out of the bushes and up to Wynonna, holding out a brown fuzzy mess. She was jumping up and down and babbling a mile a minute as Wynonna took a look at the doll. After a moment recognition dawned on her face and she turned to Willa._

_“Willa it’s Mr. Plumpkins! I guess Daddy wasn’t that good at getting rid of him.” She scoffed as she brushed some twigs and leaves off his fur, “Can’t really say I’m surprised; he’s drunk off his ass most days as it is.” The tiny girl, Waverly, was now grabbing at the bear with tiny hands. Wynonna held up a hand to her.  
_

_“Now Waves I know you found him and you want to keep him, but he actually belongs to Willa. We thought he was lost a long time ago. It would be nice if Willa could have him back don’t you think?”  
_

_Waverly scrunches up her face as she stands still a moment and thinks. She then smiles and waves her arm above her head like she’s had a dramatic light bulb moment, “I think Willi would be very very very happy with her bear back I know I would be so here Willi here’s your bear.” Waverly took the bear from Wynonna and held it out to Willa._

_Time seemed to stand still for a moment as Willa looked at her bear._ Her _bear. The one Mama had made for her as a baby. Her favorite thing in the world. But then she had grown up. She wasn’t a child anymore, and hadn’t been for a long time. She was the heir now. And Mama had left. The bear almost seemed to mock her now. Mock her with the past. And she couldn’t stand it._

_She grabbed Mr. Plumpkins and threw him back into the bushes Waverly had pulled him from. “Put that damn thing back where it belongs!” she yelled at no one in particular. Waverly looked at her big sister and blinked back tears as she ran after the bear. Willa quickly turned around to march back to the Homestead but Wynonna grabbed her arm._

_“Whoa there partner; where are you going what the hell was that about?” She gestured to where Waverly now sat cuddling the bear. “She was trying to be nice.” This last sentence was whispered. Wynonna knew Willa had never liked Waverly. She didn’t really understand why but it was no secret she had no affection for the youngest Earp.  
_

_Willa did her best to hide her face as she knew the tears were coming. The stupid tears showing her stupid weakness. Seems like they could never be beaten out of her like Daddy hoped._

_“That stupid bear was for a different me, Nonna. A me who’s been gone a very long time.”  
_

_It was all Willa could say and Wynonna, while only nine, understood. She had learned a lot in her nine years, more than any kid should have to learn. She reached out and wiped a tear from her sister’s cheek._

_“You know I’m always here for you, right?” She whispered.  
_

_At that Willa fully faced her, eyes red and puffy._

_“Don’t you ever say that Nonna_ I’m _the one here for_ you _. It’s my job to protect you and Daddy and everyone in this goddamn town because only I can!” Her voice cracked but she fought to hold herself together. Crying would accomplish nothing.  
_

_And after all that, her Nonna just shook her head. “No. No no no. Willa. Yes only you can shoot Peacemaker. Yes, you have to kill those Revenants. But that doesn’t mean you’re alone. While you protect us, I will_ always _protect you. Cause Mama ain’t. Daddy sure won’t. So I will. And don’t even try to fight me on this one.”_

_And Willa hadn’t._

 

 

They say you see your life flash before your eyes when you die. But Willa didn’t see everything. She only saw what mattered. Who mattered. Through her blurry vision she saw Peacemaker glow blue, and in a voice so hushed she could barely make out the words, her Nonna said: 

“Make your peace.” 

And with a crack it went dark.

 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_Oh Lord, down so low_ **

**_Oh Lord, down so low_ **

**_Oh Lord, down so low_ **

**_Oh Lord, down so low_ **

**Author's Note:**

> ** I don't own any of these characters- they belong to Emily Andras & Syfy/ Space Channel  
> ** I don't own the song "Down So Low" by Royal Deluxe  
> I'm a huge Wayhaught fan but this scene is forever my favorite- so I wanted to do something to commemorate it.


End file.
